The Value of Checking In
- Sara Aird
- Jun 12, 2024
- 2 min read
Updated: Jul 2, 2024
Learning to explore and navigate our inner experience is an essential component of healing. Tuning in helps us understand our emotional and relational needs. It helps us know where our boundaries are or where we need them. It helps us understand our past and current experiences. It helps us make meaning in our lives. It helps us develop our sense of self. When we can learn how to check in with curiosity, we can make self-discoveries that can deepen our healing and help us understand ourselves better. There are many ways we can check in:
Yet it can feel challenging turning inward, especially if we feel wary of or scared of what we might discover. As complex trauma survivors, we often have many negative core beliefs around emotions, and our inner critics can make it quite difficult to check in. Sometimes we need a little guidance, some structure, and a reminder that our inner experiences are information rather than an indicator of our worth and value.
Here is one model I use for checking in that invites us to consider our inner experiences on a spectrum - what we are feeling closest to today. I'll invite you to start your check in by practicing emotional consent: ask yourself if you have the capacity to check in today or ask yourself if checking in would feel supportive. Once you've determined if checking in would be helpful today, you can turn inward using the following questions:
Today I'm feeling closer to:
The Past
The Present
The Future
All Over The Place
Today I'm feeling closer to:
Hyper-arousal
Window of Tolerance
Hypo-arousal
Shutdown & Dissociated
Today I'm feeling closer to:
Uncomfortable feelings
Comfortable feelings
Mixed feelings
Numbing feelings
Today I'm feeling closer to:
Outside of my body
Near my body
Inside my body
What body??
Today I'm feeling closer to:
Open
Guarded
Becoming Guarded
Becoming Open
Today I need:
Gentleness
Bravery
Connection
Reassurance
Today I need to hear:
It's okay to take it slow.
It's okay to not have it all figured out.
It's okay to ask for what I need.
It's okay to explore my feelings.
Today I can support myself by:
Journaling my feelings for 5 minutes.
Making myself a nourishing meal.
Going on a mindful walk.
Asking a trusted person for a 20 second hug.
Taking a couple minutes every day or every couple of days to check in is one way we can befriend our inner world. Rather than assessing our emotions and inner experiences as "good' or "bad", we practice seeking understanding by gathering information. When we stay curious, we can get to know ourselves, which allows us to take steps towards our needs and what we want from life.
Reflection Questions:
How was it to check in? What did you discover?
What can you acknowledge and validate today?
What connections did you make mentally, physically, emotionally, etc.?
Resources That Could Help:
FREE Resource: Tuning In Guide - I created a free guide that uses this format to help you create a daily or every couple of days check in practice. This guide introduces self-discovery and how we can practice healing curiosity.
Ready to deepen your check in practice? I'd suggest Name It to Tame It - a guide that teaches you how to navigate and understand your inner landscape. This guide helps you understand your emotions and the messages they are bringing. ($4)
The Emotion Regulation Bundle - This bundle includes Name It to Tame It, but also includes the Emotions Life Raft, for navigating trauma triggers, and Befriending the Body Written Somatic Guide, which includes 20 somatic practices for nervous systems regulation. ($15)
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